baby, it's cold outside
When I came downstairs yesterday morning, I looked at the thermometer outside our window. 12 degrees Fahrenheit. Um, cold. Yeah. When I walked Damian to the bus stop, it had gotten warmer. 17 degrees. Positively balmy. Today the thermometer is flirting with 20, never quite committing. This is the coldest weather I've experienced in 17 years. We didn't tend to leave California much during the winter. I wonder why?
When we told people we were leaving Los Angeles, moving back to the Northeast, they either said (with a wistful sigh) "I wish I was moving too" or they looked at me with incredulity: "You're going back to weather??? Leaving the sun???"
The sun still shines when it's twelve degrees outside. It just doesn't warm you up as much. I've been dreading this weather since we got here. Maybe dread is a strong word. Worried, concerned, wondering how it would feel and if I'd wish for the Golden State and regret moving. Bracing myself for the onslaught of awfulness that memory and hearsay created, the harsh wind that rips through you and makes you want to cry, only the tears just turn to icicles on your cheeks and make you cry harder, which of course just add to the icicle profusion and pretty soon you find yourself a walking, creaking human-shaped tear-flavored popsicle and you have to wait till spring thaw to get anything done like, I don’t know, shopping and cooking and work deadlines. Definitely you miss all your deadlines when you're a solid block of ice.
So, you know, not a good thing.
That was my fear. The reality? Well, yes. It's cold. And if it stays like this until February, I may indeed weep quietly into my scarf, carefully wiping off the tears before they freeze. But so far? Not so bad.
I can't figure it out. Did 20 degrees get warmer while I wasn't looking? Did someone switch out all the mercury in the thermometers around here the way dress sizes have silently eased up the ladder, so you can gain 15 lbs and yet fit into a new size 8? Is this the new 20 degrees? The hip 20 degrees? Or is it that I'd so magnified the chill in my mind this fall, buying the warmest jacket I could find, thinsulate and down, and armed myself with scarf and earmuffs and hat and gloves (and Damian, too, yes, he's covered head to toe or as nearly as I can manage without suffocating him) that I've effectively made us into walking Michelin Tire Folk, ready for the Arctic and no mere 17 degree weather will conquer our layers because we are too strong and too insulated for that. Take that, you winter, you, you can't cow me! I'm powerful in my puffiness, ready for bear. Or at least squirrel. A cute, small kind of winter weather, with a fluffy tail.
When you're bundled up and the wind is light and the sun is out, the chill burnishes your cheeks and chases you playfully down the hill but does no more than that. And you come inside, into the warmth, shedding layers as you go, and then you look outside and oh, it's so beautiful.
The first winter I spent in Los Angeles, I felt like I was cheating. Walking outside in a light jacket in January, they're gonna catch me, bust me, send me back, right? Then I started to miss it. The cold wakes you up, you know? Reminds you that you live in this body, that you feel from head to toe, that you exist. And then you get to look forward to spring, to the flowers and the buds on the trees and the warmth on your face. And then, too, you remember. You're alive. In this body. Of this earth.
It's all good.
(So far. Ask me again in February.)
Comments
Yes, cold certainly does remind you that you're alive, and inform you of exactly where your tensions are, and how wonderful it is to be alive in spite of the fact that life would not be the case if you took off those insulating layers.
BTW, now's a great time to start planning for a February trip to the Carribean or South America...
Posted by: Aaron | December 15, 2005 11:56 AM
I was listening to a program from the Yukon this morning. And quite frankly, to my surprise, it sounded very appealing, cold and all. Friendly and fresh. Not much unlike where I live now so I guess I won't move, for now!
Posted by: Leya | December 15, 2005 12:35 PM
OK, so you do realize that the worst is yet to come, right? From my recollection, February is a pretty dismal winter month in New England, even with only 28 days. And by March, just when you expect Spring to arrive, you have to face the fact of 4 more weeks of cold & snow. Oh, and did I mention the April Fool's Day blizzard in MA back in 1997??!! :)
Seriously, though, cold and snow and "real" winter can be just as enjoyable as any other weather, as long as you've got the right clothes and attitude.
This is my second winter in Sacramento, and it stills feels a bit strange to experience fog as the defining characteristic of the season rather than snow. I also feel like I'm cheating a bit, since the common paradigm seems to be "California doesn't get cold," and I have to sort of give myself permission to say, "Actually, yes it does get pretty chilly out here; we do get some frost on the grass in the mornings; and it's OK for me to wear a long-sleeved shirt and a sweater because it's 40 degrees, and 40 degrees is not necessarily warm!"
Anyway, enjoy your first winter back East. ;)
Posted by: jms | December 15, 2005 12:41 PM
My first winter back, I was NEVER warm. I don't mind the cold, occasionally, but this is a bit much, a bit soon. It is usually not frozen tundra already before Christmas. I'm not quite ready for this. And yes, Virginia, it will be around in February, and probably most of March!
Posted by: rose | December 15, 2005 12:45 PM
I should add that by "stay like this," I meant stay 20 or colder without any break. But we're supposed to get weather in the 30's all next week (above freezing, wow!), so there'll be that breather. Rose, I thought this was too soon for this much winter! I'm glad that wasn't my imagination.
But I do know that worse is yet to come. Though perhaps not for long stretches. My memory of winters in New York (which is a bit warmer than New England) is that it did hover around 20F for stretches, but rarely went below. I hear it's changed, though, and it now dips down around zero at points. Brr!
And JMS, ha. And yes. California does get chilly. Turn-on-the-heat chilly. Just not, y'know, mittens-level chilly.
Posted by: Tamar | December 15, 2005 12:57 PM
California does get chilly! Why, this morning, I had to put on a sweatshirt jacket over my three-quarters-sleeve shirt when I walked to the car! I mean, it couldn't have been much about the low 60s! And I had to remind Em to take a jacket with her to school, just in case she felt cold outdoors during recess in her short-sleeved T-shirt! Brrrrrr. I've even lit a fire in the fireplace once or twice this season.
;-)
TC, definitely one of the people who wondered at why Tamar would want to go back to "weather"
Posted by: Tiny Coconut | December 15, 2005 03:40 PM
Holy crap, that scares the hell out of me. I turn into a block of ice as soon as the thermometer dips below 50. (I don't know why. But people used to think I was imagining it until they would grab my hands and flip over how icy they were.)
I have purchased the silk stuff. Now must go find a coat. And scarf. And hat. And boots or something. Would it look too weird if I simply hopped around in one of those sub-zero sleeping bags? Those things are toasty.
Posted by: toni | December 16, 2005 09:35 PM
I'm a native Golden Stated transplanted here in the Garden State and I like the cold--the chance to pile on layers, go running and freeze and then get warm. Best bet for me these days is a Buff. And Patagonia.
We lived in St. Paul, too, and I made a deal with my husband, never broken, not to complain about the cold.
Posted by: kchew | December 18, 2005 01:24 AM
Here in Canberra it doesn't get that cold - maybe at night, but by midday it's always above freezing and mostly has max temps around 45F (I'm guessing here, but say 7-10C). So not the same I know. But I do like the change to cold weather, at least at first. I've missed it when I've lived elsewhere. And while I'm completely over it by midwinter, I also love to Spring change that starts in August, which makes it all worthwhile.
Posted by: Kay | December 18, 2005 03:00 AM